And if you feel that you can't go on
And your will's sinking low
Just believe and you can't go wrong
In the light you will find the road (You will find the road)
Led Zeppelin
Everybody Makes It Through
Do I have enough faith to believe that everything is going to be ok? I’ve been negotiating my faith the past few days. Yesterday I took a walk outside after being indoors for 3 days straight. The sun was shinning but the clouds were there. As I walked along the water in my neighborhood in Brooklyn, when the sun was bright, the water looked great. When the sun was behind the clouds, the water looked meek. It made me think about faith.
Faith is something you have or you don’t. You can’t fake faith. Faith is too smart for that. The moment you doubt it, it’s like a loud clap of thunder that happens inside your heart. You get startled and now fear will creep in. Once fear is present, the struggle becomes real.
When I am one foot in faith and one foot outside of faith, I can feel the discomfort and the doubts. There are many factors trying to question your allegiance to faith. Faith challenges us in the darkest moments when we allow the doubt and insecurities to take over. When I get to the point where one foot is moving forward, yet the other foot doesn’t believe, I challenge my faith.
And the challenge is in everything. In my life, my career, my relationships, my voice, my purpose, my future, my present. Within the dark doubt of faith, it gets lonely. I don’t see clearly and I can’t focus. My mind is everywhere and nowhere at the same time
Then there are days when my faith is so big and strong where a slight thought trying to derail me, I laugh at it. I look at that thought straight on and laugh. “You think you are going to bully me? I don’t think so. Back up”. When my faith is strong, I move from my heart, not from my senses and my mind. I can tap into the energy of my love which in essence is my divine being. We are all love when we connect to our spiritual self. Our soul is pure love.
I know it will only last a while, when I doubt my faith. I remind myself that it’s best to ride the wave instead of fighting it. When we go with the emotional waves that sweep in, sometimes it’s best to just go under the emotion, under the water. Let it pass by. It will. How long, who knows but it will pass.
Then, the light starts to peek through and we start to perk up. It’s like our hearts are reaching for that light and the warmth that comes from it.
Faith isn’t needy and doesn’t ask for much. Faith asks for one main thing. Believe. Faith asks us to believe in what cannot be seen or proven. It’s the light that will get us through it all and where we’ll find our faith.
Be the light, my friends.