A practice is something we build upon and it’s there in our life to offer support and growth. Forgiveness and acceptance is something we can all practice in our life.
Forgiveness is a virtue. Similar to acceptance, patience, compassion and non judgment, the more we practice forgiving, the deeper our understanding of the energy becomes. We live in an era where science agrees with the yogis. That our mind and body are connected and the quality of our thoughts matter to our overall health. Stress, which originates in the mind, bleeds into the body.
Forgiveness is not easy. It’s an action that has to be practiced. In my experience, I am constantly forgiving. Myself and others. It’s a verb and if we think of forgiveness as a muscle, then the more we use it, the bigger it grows.
But why is it so hard to forgive?
Pain isn’t something we want in life. We have an aversion to things that bring us pain. We want to stay as far away from pain as possible. The mind is attracted to the things that make us feel good and shines away from the stuff that makes us feel bad.
Maybe it’s so hard to forgive because we don’t want to accept the emotions that come with the situation. It’s hard to process negative emotions. I know I’ve hurt people in my life and I am learning slowly that the more I replay the moments and hold onto the memories, I’m not allowing the wound to heal. I allow the energy of the situation to replay in my mind and body, over and over again.
I don’t believe that when we forgive, we forget. We learn from the situation if we truly are in the mode of healing. We process the emotions. We let the pain wash over us and once we’ve accepted where we were, we begin to meet ourselves where we are at.
Holding onto the pain is like having a wound and not letting it heal.
Every week, I go into Manhattan to teach yoga and meditation for an amazing company. The concierge that I greet is a deacon. I try to get to the building early to have a meaningful conversation with this man. He is always sitting at the desk, rosary in hand and smile across his face.
I asked him for his thoughts on forgiveness as I’ve been working on this article for the past week. Even though we study different lineages of spirituality, it's really all the same. There are many paths that lead to the same destination. Unfortunately, he was rushing out but he sent me an email with the following books to read, in this order.
1) Why Forgive - a great introduction into the process of forgiveness
2) The Sunflower - leaves the question and how you get to it or don’t get to it and how and why you came to that decision, to forgive, or not to forgive
3) The Gift of Forgiveness - delves into what happens to us when we forgive.\
I haven’t read any of these books yet but just in case you were looking for more guidance on forgiveness, maybe check them out.
Pain makes it hard to see the light but the world is full of light. Practice forgiveness towards others and especially yourself. Let the wounds heal and show others how living a life of acceptance and forgiveness are among the strongest energies we humans can create.
