A few nights ago, I had a strong dream.
I was at the ocean, sitting in the water with my laptop. I was on a conference call about the yoga retreat in Morocco. I was getting frustrated that people kept asking questions only because I needed to hang up.
Right in front of my eyes, there was a massive swell building quickly. I was looking at the biggest, most ginormous wave I’ve seen in my life and in any surfing movie. It was well above the clouds as if the power of the wave started from the base of the ocean and it took over the sky.
I remember looking up with huge eyes but with a calm mind. I didn’t freak out, I didn’t try to run. I wasn’t scared but I did say, “Oh shit”.
Before I could close the laptop, the water crashed on me. I felt the hit on my shoulders and body but the wave didn’t drag me under and it didn’t hurt. I was calm. I felt VERY present in my dream. I watched as the water swelled up again and didn’t worry. I wasn’t afraid.
Dreams are powerful expressions of the conscious, subconscious and unconscious mind. During an advanced yoga training, I had to record my dreams. Every night, I had a pen and pad next to my bed and I would wake myself up to write down a few words so I wouldn’t forget.
I’ve actually had this tsunami dream before but it was much different. The first time was during my divorce. I was terrified. I thought I was going to drown. I felt helpless. It all makes sense because during my divorce, I was afraid of being on my own. I was scared that I would disappoint and hurt people. I was tearful a lot.
My dream the other night came when I released a heavy energy that I've been gripping. I no longer wanted to carry that weight and I was clear to myself that something needed to shift. For the first time in a long time, I wasn’t afraid to walk away.
At least for this moment in my life, I am finally not afraid of letting go. I think the power of letting go will make my life stronger, braver and mine. I believe that letting go will show me just how powerful I really am. It will allow me to move in my life with ease and beauty.
I don’t need to be afraid.
I don’t need to worry about other’s judgements.
I don’t need to carry the weight of others if it’s dragging me down.
I am strong. I am capable. I am awesome.
I am free.