The other day I was walking Jagger and when we turned onto our block, I saw a Fedex truck leaving the street. I wondered if I was expecting a delivery. I got to my front door and saw the tag. WE MISSED YOU. I remembered that I ordered new outdoor lights for the Parlour’s patio. My mind went straight into a conversation which went something like this:
“Oh well, I wasn’t in tune with the delivery so now I have to wait till Monday to get my lights. I missed it by half a minute! So close but I guess I have to be patient since timing didn’t work out.”
And then, a really loud voice jumped in and said, NO, KATE. RUN. GO GET THE TRUCK. RUN!
I listened to that loud voice and I told Jagger, let’s go! We went running down Van Brunt street and I saw the FedEx truck. I handed the driver my ticket and he gave me my package. We exchanged a good laugh and wished one another a happy weekend.
Jags and I walked back home and all I could do was smile.
I felt good inside and it wasn't because of the patio lights. When we go deeper within our feelings and thoughts, we understand that missing the Fedex truck wasn’t just about a package. Things are never what they seem on the surface.
That first internal dialogue made me feel that I wasn't "winning". Life wasn't on my side since I missed the connection. If I was in my rhythm, I never would have missed it. But that's just my mind making up stories from some outdated pattern that I keep holding onto. When I was in my 20's, I always talked about mojo. The flow. When I wasn't cruising, I was just waiting.
What if we push ourselves to move forward? What if we stop waiting and light up our life? And not from a place of force or being fake but from a place of seeing ourselves. Understanding our mind and heart and knowing when we need that extra push.
What if we need to give ourselves more options and ask, what am I watching go by that I want in my life? What do I need to run after? Maybe we just need to give it a bit more energy.
Listen to your feelings. Don’t try to fix them.
Lean into the edges. Try not to talk your way out of them.
Find your light and truth.
Life is meant to experience so run after it with all your heart and feel the joy that comes from being alive. Release old ways of thinking that no longer serve you. You deserve it.